So it's been awhile since my last post. These are the most stressful times at work in 15 years of teaching. I'm up to my eyeballs in family birthdays and parties and events, but I wouldn't have it any other way. Except, of course if I had someone to share it with...
Now, I know that my most recent posts boast about the fun I'm having being single, and that is the honest truth! I LOVE this freedom! But I can't help but crave the companionship that comes with having a significant other. I have not had a "normal" relationship yet, where my boyfriend and I do things together (shop, travel, dine, attend parties & events together...) I suppose I'd like to try that out, and see how it fits. What do I know? I just might like being someone's girlfriend. I mean, I've been someone's girlfriend before, but there has always been a distance between us. It would be nice to hang out with someone on a regular basis, be their "plus one", even live with someone for a time.
What is the cause for this sudden need? Well, I guess that would stem from a recent phone call from my 'white boy stalker' friend--actually, I'm over that title, let's just call him "Michael"... mostly because that is his name :). He is planning a trip out here in a few weeks to visit his parents and would like to take me on a date. Now, of course I intend to go out with him, he's a really nice guy. But, as always, I'm cautious because he openly adores me. In his eyes, I am PERFECT. I mean this guy REALLY likes ME--ALOT. He also asked me to accompany him to Las Vegas for a weekend in July.
Immediately, I must question his motives. Does he really want to spend time with ME, or is he just wanting to piss off his bigoted parents? Does the fact that I am Latina and speak spanish excite him or is it my charm and inner beauty he craves? These are questions that can only be answered in time, but I did my best in this phone conversation to 'dissuade' his further involvement with me... but to no avail.
When he asked me to spend a weekend with him in Vegas, I asked him what his girlfriend would think about that. He said that she was getting ready to leave him anyway. "Why would she leave you?", I asked.
"Because she wants kids and I don't want any more under ANY circumstances." Bingo! I thought!
"Well, I guess you and I would never work out, cause that is the one thing I want most in this world." was my quick response, sure he'd rethink getting more involved with me.
"No, you don't. Trust me!"
"Yes. I do. And, I would do anything to have one!" I spat.
He spat back with, "You can have me! You can have one of mine! We can adopt a 12 year old girl!"
"I want a legacy; I want someone to know I was here; I don't want to be alone in my old age!" and then I proceeded to school him on my Mexican heritage and why family was so important to me.
By the end of that conversation, he actually said, "Let's do this then. Let's try it once, and if its meant to be, it will happen."
Ha! I actually got him to WANT to have a child with me... By now, I'm thinking this guy is either insane, or he genuinely really likes me. And of course a little bit deeper in the conversation, he blurts out, "Marry me. I would make you so happy, if you just let me. Marry me." WHAT??? Of course, I reminded him that I don't want to get married. Not right now anyway. He accepted that and asked if we could "pretend" to be married in Vegas. I had to chuckle at the thought that conjured up.
"Yes, I will be your Vegas wife for the weekend we're there."
"We're gonna have so much fun. I'm gonna take care of you. You won't have to lift a finger. I'm gonna do all the work. I'll book a really nice suite, 'is it presumptuous of me to book a king sized bed? or would you prefer two doubles?'"
I said, "Let's see how things go on our date later this month. Although, I do love a King-sized bed!"
"Then that's what I'll book. But you don't have to sleep with me if you don't want. I can chill on the couch if you aren't comfortable with me in the bed too, cause I'm gonna tell you right now, 'I really wanna make love to you. And sleeping in the same bed and not having sex would really be difficult for me." he said matter-of-factly. And being the confident man he is, he added, "If you do let me have sex with you, you will be well taken care of. I will have you writhing with joy. You're gonna want to put a pillow over your face cause the things I'm gonna do to you are gonna make you blush, and a whole lot more..."
Uhhh, how can I say no to the possibility of a life with this man? Do I love him? No. Could I learn to love him? I could. And really, that's the point--I could. In the end, after concocting every excuse known to try and get this guy to see that he really wouldn't be happy with me, he (in the course of this one telephone conversation) asked me on a date, offered to father a child with me, asked me to marry him, invited me on a weekend getaway, said he's ready to move back to California just to be near me, AND wants to do things to me sexually that will make me blush. I think I'd be a fool not to give myself a taste of what a real relationship with a man would be like. A relationship with a man that adores me and wants to be with me (and only me). The downside is that he is admittedly very possessive, but it kinda turns me on a bit to know that he hates the thought of me being with other men. I know he would love me (ONLY ME) and I think I could do the same if he's as good in bed as he claims. He just might be the distraction I need to get my mind off of the 'boys that got away'. This one might just be a 'keeper'.
