I could have chosen to become an architect, interior designer, an anthropologist, a travel agent, or a photojournalist--all were once my dream. Instead, I chose the one profession that my mom, a 36 year veteran of the profession told me NOT to become--a teacher. "It's a thankless job. You won't get paid your worth. Weekends and summers off are a myth because you will always be working on improving the education and lives of your clientele." All of these arguments swayed me only momentarily. And each one very true.
As a child, I used to fantasize about building my own home. I would sketch actual floor plans and layouts on graph paper. I included all the details that anyone would want their home to have, right down to the landscaping. Had I stuck with my original choice, I may be enjoying my 'dream home' right now. Or designing beautiful high end green homes with enough saved funds to adopt and raise a slew of kids.
Another hobby I enjoyed was interior design. When my baby sis went to UNLV and rented an apartment, I jumped at the chance to decorate for her (on a college student budget no less). I gave her digs a high end look for an affordable amount. Then when she moved to a home in Vegas, she sought me to decorate that place. It led to my redesigning my mom's bedroom, living room, and her back yard & patio. And that led to my involvement in renovating my BFF's home. Had I chosen to be an interior designer, I might be living in some posh community with my own little business and up scale clientele.
As a Sagittarian, wanderlust is a huge element in my life. I remember fantasizing about traveling to distant lands. As a 6th grader, I was enchanted with Japanese culture after doing a report on the country. And after studying the ancient Egyptians, Greeks, Romans, Maya, Inca and Aztecs (also in 6th grade), I wanted to experience all of those cultures. In Jr. High, I was fascinated with National Geographic and hoped one day to be an anthropologist or at the very least a photographer for the magazine. I joined the H.S. yearbook staff as a photographer. And in the 10th grade, I had the opportunity of a lifetime--to travel to a holy village in Portugal with a few other people from my church. Being exposed to another culture had me wanting more. So much so, that I took a travel agent course at an adult school.
In the end, I chose to listen to my gut. Against my mom's advise, I enrolled in Child Development courses at Cal State Northridge. I know where the need to pursue Child Development came from. It was growing up in an extended family with lots and lots of cousins and brothers & sisters. I had a beautiful, adventurous childhood and I wanted to be the BEST parent ever--like my own parents and grandparents were. I had been a nanny for our county superintendent of schools (who's wife was a professor of education at Cal Lutheran). I cared for their two children (the youngest having Down Syndrome) for 8 years. I was certain I was preparing myself for mothering a soccer team (or a basketball team at the very least). When my 16 year old sis became pregnant, I practiced the whole parenthood thing with my nephew. Since my sis was still in school, I had him during the day and went to school at night. I had my nephew so much that people thought he belonged to me.
And so here I am. A teacher with no kids of my own, but a classroom filled with the future. I have decorated some, traveled some, written and photographed some, and I have even mothered some. I am BLESSED. And at my age, I am still in the running for even more adventures in the greatest classroom of all--Life...
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Sanctified Strength
16 de septiembre (Mexican Independence Day) is an ideal time for me to reflect on just one story of many in my family's rich Mexican historia. My grandparents on my mother's side lived (survived) the infamous Cristero Revolution in Mexico. During a time when Catholic priests were being martyred, my grandparents risked their lives to have the holy sacrament of marriage bestowed on them by a Catholic priest. That priest in turn risked his life to perform the blessed ritual.
I remember hearing the story of my grandparents having been married in a cave in Mexico because the government had outlawed Catholic ceremonies and gatherings of any kind. Many priests were killed for ignoring the law and performing the rites anyway. My grandparents' anniversary was June 24, 1928. It was the day we always celebrated. But not until they were both deceased, did we learn that their true 'official' date of matrimony (officially recognized by the courts) was about 3 weeks later in mid July.
It amazes me that they risked death in order to be bound by God in His holy Catholic church. What amazes me even more is that my grandmother was only 14 when my grandfather (24) married her and brought her to the U.S. Makes me wonder if she even had a choice or say in the matter. How utterly terrifying and yet brave she must have been. God bless you Grandma. For I know that I inherited your strength and fortitude.
I remember hearing the story of my grandparents having been married in a cave in Mexico because the government had outlawed Catholic ceremonies and gatherings of any kind. Many priests were killed for ignoring the law and performing the rites anyway. My grandparents' anniversary was June 24, 1928. It was the day we always celebrated. But not until they were both deceased, did we learn that their true 'official' date of matrimony (officially recognized by the courts) was about 3 weeks later in mid July.
It amazes me that they risked death in order to be bound by God in His holy Catholic church. What amazes me even more is that my grandmother was only 14 when my grandfather (24) married her and brought her to the U.S. Makes me wonder if she even had a choice or say in the matter. How utterly terrifying and yet brave she must have been. God bless you Grandma. For I know that I inherited your strength and fortitude.
Friday, September 2, 2011
Be Careful What You Ask For...
So it is common knowledge that I have been without a love (and I mean 'Real' Love) for some time. Let's not dwell on exactly how long. The fact is that it has been way too long. And now that I am NOT out there looking, it seems to be finding me. Trouble is, I don't want to be found this time.
I want to enjoy my independence and the opportunities for playful adventures with whomever I choose--a flavor-of-the-month, so to speak. But all of a sudden I feel like the guy in these potential conquests! Talk about roll reversal!
A few months ago, I began seeing a FB friend that I hadn't seen in 20 years. He barely remembered me which led me to believe he'd be the perfect "john" to hook up with for a mini fling to help me get mind off my last guy... err, relationship... err, whatever you call it... He was funny, had a job, lived far enough away, wasn't married, engaged, or living with anyone and he liked to drink and have a good time. Spent a whirlwind weekend at his place and BAM! He starts to have 'feelings' for me. Now I don't mind feelings--don't get me wrong, but these feelings were way too serious for only one weekend into a relationship! So I broke his heart and told him he was barking up the wrong tree if he wanted commitment from me. Result? He went on a rather unhealthy, pouty drinking binge and lemme tell you, he is not a nice drunk! Now I know how guys feel when 'marriage' comes up in conversation on a date!!!
Attempt number 2 occurred a couple of weeks ago while out enjoying the weekend before I went back to work. Went to a local bar with my BFF and met up with a couple of guys we hadn't seen in nearly 20 years. Now the guy that hit on me was just as funny as when we used to hang out with him all those years ago. He had me and my girl in stitches all night, and the two of them even took us to have a bite to eat afterwards. We laughed all night. Boy did I need that too! My tummy and entire core was sore from all the laughing. He was really into me too--had me feelin' like a teenager and all. Now he is a few years older than me (which is normally off for me! I like my men younger than me...), so I figured he'd be perfect for a fling, cuz he went out a lot and he was really outgoing he won't expect a relationship. Low and behold, he's also a handyman! (which is something I REALLY need) So I invited him over the next day to assess my honey do list. He was really into me (even sober). He gave me a foot massage and brushed my hair, and with his kisses, he touched that one place on the back of my neck that sends my senses to neverland! You guessed it, I let him sample my 'goodies'. It was just once! I didn't even let him stay the night! And I got WAY more out of it than he did--trus me! But dambed if he didn't call later that night! I had work the next day, and he's talkin' about wanting another drink and how I taste like cotton candy and can he get some more. Then he leaves me a message the next day, singing Bruno Mars 'Just the Way You Are'! And if that's not enough, he texted me too--talkin' bout how lucky he is to have met me and lets take a walk on the beach... WTF??? 1 time? Really? So I had "the talk" with him as well. Don't want commitment. His response? "That's cool, I get you. I can accept that. I mean, I'd rather be with you, but its cool if you don't want anything serious. So just use me. Can I get a drink?" Now that's more like it. I can get some when I need it and no commitment. That's beautiful, right? Apparently NOT. Very next day, that guy's cousin comes over for dinner (he used to date my BFF and they hadn't seen each other in like 12 years). So his cousin is very upset with me (he has always looked out for me & my BFF) for allowing him in my house. Apparently, he used to have a drug problem and still may have one. And to boot, he once sold all of his parents' belongings while they were away on a vacation. Wow... Now his cousin hasn't talked to him in years, but he thinks I should be very careful and maybe even get a dog--a big one. DAMN! So naturally, I have been avoiding this guy like the plague! I was able to fend him off for a while due to a recent death in my family. But he promised to call me next week. He already knows my BFF is leaving back home to Philly too. Aye, Aye, Aye! What to do? Now I know what guys feel like when girls 'stalk' them!!!
Since the recent death in my family, my ex boyfriend (I can call him that cause we introduced one another as our boy/girlfriend) has contacted me asking if he can come out for a visit. He said he'd stay in my guest room if I wanted him to. I hope I don't end up regretting it, but I think I just might let him. At least I know what I'm dealing with when I'm with him. He's a great drunk. He's totally NOT the stalker type. And he makes me feel safe. As long as I stick to my "Year of Me" rules and don't expect anything more than some good, clean sex, I think that just might work...
I want to enjoy my independence and the opportunities for playful adventures with whomever I choose--a flavor-of-the-month, so to speak. But all of a sudden I feel like the guy in these potential conquests! Talk about roll reversal!
A few months ago, I began seeing a FB friend that I hadn't seen in 20 years. He barely remembered me which led me to believe he'd be the perfect "john" to hook up with for a mini fling to help me get mind off my last guy... err, relationship... err, whatever you call it... He was funny, had a job, lived far enough away, wasn't married, engaged, or living with anyone and he liked to drink and have a good time. Spent a whirlwind weekend at his place and BAM! He starts to have 'feelings' for me. Now I don't mind feelings--don't get me wrong, but these feelings were way too serious for only one weekend into a relationship! So I broke his heart and told him he was barking up the wrong tree if he wanted commitment from me. Result? He went on a rather unhealthy, pouty drinking binge and lemme tell you, he is not a nice drunk! Now I know how guys feel when 'marriage' comes up in conversation on a date!!!
Attempt number 2 occurred a couple of weeks ago while out enjoying the weekend before I went back to work. Went to a local bar with my BFF and met up with a couple of guys we hadn't seen in nearly 20 years. Now the guy that hit on me was just as funny as when we used to hang out with him all those years ago. He had me and my girl in stitches all night, and the two of them even took us to have a bite to eat afterwards. We laughed all night. Boy did I need that too! My tummy and entire core was sore from all the laughing. He was really into me too--had me feelin' like a teenager and all. Now he is a few years older than me (which is normally off for me! I like my men younger than me...), so I figured he'd be perfect for a fling, cuz he went out a lot and he was really outgoing he won't expect a relationship. Low and behold, he's also a handyman! (which is something I REALLY need) So I invited him over the next day to assess my honey do list. He was really into me (even sober). He gave me a foot massage and brushed my hair, and with his kisses, he touched that one place on the back of my neck that sends my senses to neverland! You guessed it, I let him sample my 'goodies'. It was just once! I didn't even let him stay the night! And I got WAY more out of it than he did--trus me! But dambed if he didn't call later that night! I had work the next day, and he's talkin' about wanting another drink and how I taste like cotton candy and can he get some more. Then he leaves me a message the next day, singing Bruno Mars 'Just the Way You Are'! And if that's not enough, he texted me too--talkin' bout how lucky he is to have met me and lets take a walk on the beach... WTF??? 1 time? Really? So I had "the talk" with him as well. Don't want commitment. His response? "That's cool, I get you. I can accept that. I mean, I'd rather be with you, but its cool if you don't want anything serious. So just use me. Can I get a drink?" Now that's more like it. I can get some when I need it and no commitment. That's beautiful, right? Apparently NOT. Very next day, that guy's cousin comes over for dinner (he used to date my BFF and they hadn't seen each other in like 12 years). So his cousin is very upset with me (he has always looked out for me & my BFF) for allowing him in my house. Apparently, he used to have a drug problem and still may have one. And to boot, he once sold all of his parents' belongings while they were away on a vacation. Wow... Now his cousin hasn't talked to him in years, but he thinks I should be very careful and maybe even get a dog--a big one. DAMN! So naturally, I have been avoiding this guy like the plague! I was able to fend him off for a while due to a recent death in my family. But he promised to call me next week. He already knows my BFF is leaving back home to Philly too. Aye, Aye, Aye! What to do? Now I know what guys feel like when girls 'stalk' them!!!
Since the recent death in my family, my ex boyfriend (I can call him that cause we introduced one another as our boy/girlfriend) has contacted me asking if he can come out for a visit. He said he'd stay in my guest room if I wanted him to. I hope I don't end up regretting it, but I think I just might let him. At least I know what I'm dealing with when I'm with him. He's a great drunk. He's totally NOT the stalker type. And he makes me feel safe. As long as I stick to my "Year of Me" rules and don't expect anything more than some good, clean sex, I think that just might work...
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