Philosophy of Life (A Posthumous Reflection)

I believe deeply in fate.  For this reason, I am posting a paper written by my father over 50 years ago.  I don't think it was accidental that I happened upon this particular paper when I did.  Here is why...  today I had a conversation with a friend about my musings & meanings.  He complemented me on my knack for insightful writing.  I proceeded to tell him that my H.S. teachers must have liked my writing too, as they never returned my graded work, yet I always got A's.  
So later in the evening, when I pulled an envelope out of a box of papers (I have been rummaging through box after box for the past several weeks while moving into my new home), that contained 5 faded  pages of handwritten blue ink with the title "Philosophy of Life" and my dad's name in the upper right hand corner, I literally began to sob.  You see, my father died 18 years ago.  Since his death, not a day goes by that I don't think of him and how he has inspired me to be the person I am today, and to not accept less than I deserve in a man.  I can only be thankful that one of his H.S. teachers actually returned his paper (with comments included), so that I might happen upon it at the exact time that I needed his words of wisdom.  
Once I was all cried out, I scraped myself off my bedroom floor.  Then I prepared a bath so I could regain myself enough to post this blog.  But it seems my dad wasn't done letting me know that he is always with me... for as I sank into my warm bubbly bath, the music (I always listen to music while I bathe) changed.  "For Baby" by John Denver (one of my dad's favorite artists) began to play.  Of almost 2,000 songs on my iPod, that song popped up...  again the tears streamed.  And finally, after a few more hours of reflection, my dad's words, his actual thoughts as a young man with a full life ahead of him:

Philosophy of Life

     I believe that the purpose of life is to live and survive.  All forms of life go through life cycles.  The basic plan is:  birth, maturing, mating, and reproducing, and death.  The purpose for human life is for each individual to fulfill his life cycle.  This involves proper maturing to the fully developed adult.  Your life is like a pine tree.  The tree will grow straight, unless something harmful causes it to warp.  So does the human being.  You must have the ability to enjoy responsibility.  If the world were made up of mostly mature persons--loving, responsible, productive towards family, friends and the world--most of our human problems would be solved.  Most people have had something warp their development in their childhood.  So as adults, they do not know their place in life.  They feel inferior, frustrated, insecure, and anxious.  And they react to these inner feelings just as any animal reacts to any hurt or threat:  by being ready to fight or flee.  Flight takes them into alcoholism and other mental disorders.  Fight causes them to go into crime, cruelty, and war.  This is the basic problem of human life--for in the form of war, it now threatens to extinguish us.

     When I catch myself starting a thought that will produce a stressing emotion like worry, anxiety, fear, apprehension, discouragement, or the like, I will try to stop it, and substitute thinking that brings a healthy emotion, like equanimity, resignation, courage, determination, and cheerfulness.  I will try to carry this idea every minute of every day.  I am going keep my attitude and thinking calm, and cheerful.  I will try to handle my life this way:  When the going is good, I will tell myself life is good, and allow myself the delightful feeling of being happy.  When the going is rough, I will stay outwardly as cheerful and as pleasant as I possibly can.  Lighten and awkward situation with a lift of humor, with kindness, or a bit of a smile.  I will avoid running any misfortunes through my mind like a repeating phonograph record.  Above all, I will not let myself get irritated, upset, hysterical, or self-pitying.  I will try to turn defeat into a moral victory.  This is the way I would define the words I used before:  Equanimity ("Let's stay calm"); Courage ("I can take all this and more"); Determination ("I will turn this defeat into victory"); Cheerfulness ("See, I'm coming up."); Pleasantness ("I still have good will toward man")

     I think that these are important areas in living to watch:  Keep life simple; avoid watching for a knock in my motor; like work; have a good hobby; learn to be satisfied; like people; say the cheerful, pleasant thing; turn defeat into victory; meet my problems with decision; concentrate on making the present moment an emotional success; always be planning something; say "nuts" to irritations.

     I will try to put these things into the family:  Simplicity in living and enjoyment; the idea of the family enterprise; the idea that the family is part of the human enterprise; the attitude of turning defeat into victory; an atmosphere of affection; mutual respect and regard; a general tone of kindly cheerfulness; reasonable, firm, yet pleasant discipline; a feeling of mutual confidence and security; and an atmosphere of enjoyment.  While I am unmarried, I will submit my energies into interesting, absorbing, and vigorous activities, and develop my general maturity.  When I get married, every relation between my wife and I need to be mature, that is to say sympathetic, understanding, unselfish, cooperative, and affectionate.  In any case, I must be content to keep sexuality within the acceptable bounds.  It is easier to stay out of trouble than get out once you get into it.  

     This is how I will try to fill my own basic needs:  If I lack love and affection from others--I will give more than my share of love and affection to other people;  If I lack security--There is no use adding worry to a bad situation;  If I lack creative expression--Go to it, nothing is holding me; If I lack recognition--give recognition to other people instead, some of it will come back;  If I need new experiences--Go out and get them, be planning something all the time; When I have lost my self-esteem--I will remember this:  I am as good as you are; you and I are as good as they are, God bless them.

     I believe that by following this blueprint, I will develop maturity and emotional stasis.  This is what maturity means to me:  Responsibility and independence instead of dependence.  A giving rather than receiving attitude.  Cooperativeness and a feeling for the human enterprise, instead of egotism and competitiveness;  Gentleness, kindness, and good-will, instead of hostile aggressiveness, anger, hate, cruelty and belligerence.  The ability to distinguish between fact and fantasy.  This is my philosophy of life.

* "Jim, you are a young man who has real ability, as this paper shows.  You have good ideals of conduct and excellent ability.  I wish you well." 

(*signed by his instructor)

Thank you daddy for your affirming words and wisdom.  You remained true to your philosophy in your daily life with my mother, your children and extended family.  Children learn what they live and you showed us all how its done.